How family photos on the wall boost your kids' self esteem

I talk a lot about why family photos matter, but this one always surprises people.

There's actual research behind the idea that displaying family photos at home can boost your kids' confidence. A 1975 study by Tulane University looked at a group of fourth graders in Tennessee who had low self esteem scores. Over five weeks, the kids were given Polaroid cameras and asked to photograph themselves in different poses and emotions. They created scrapbooks from the photos each week. By the end of the study, those kids showed a 37% increase in self esteem, just from regularly seeing images of themselves.

That's not a small number.

It's about belonging

Psychologist David Krauss has studied the connection between family photos and how children see themselves. He says that when a child sees a family portrait displayed in the home, it creates a visible sense of the family unit. The child can physically see that they belong to something. That they're a valued part of it.

Vancouver-based psychologist Judy Weiser takes it further. She says family photos help children learn who they are and where they fit. They learn about their own family's story and their place in it. It helps them feel safe.

I see this in my own studio all the time. When families come back for their ordering session and their kids see themselves up on the big screen, their faces light up. They point at themselves. They laugh at their siblings. They see their family and they see themselves in it.

The problem with keeping photos on your phone

Here's where most families are getting it wrong. We take more photos than ever, but they live on our phones. Your kids don't scroll through your camera roll. They don't see those photos unless you show them.

Krauss makes the point that a photo on the wall, one that a child walks past every single day without having to turn on a device or click through a folder, has a completely different impact. It's just there. It's permanent. It says "you matter enough to be on this wall."

When your child sees their face displayed in your home, in a spot where everyone who visits can see it, it tells them something. It tells them they're important. That they belong. That you're proud of them.

It's one of the simplest things you can do

As parents we pour so much energy into giving our kids every advantage. We sign them up for tutoring and sport and music. We worry about their friendships and their screen time and whether they're eating enough vegetables.

But something as simple as putting a photo of your family on the wall, where your kids can see it every day, can genuinely make a difference to how they feel about themselves.

I've been photographing families for over 23 years, and this is the thing I wish more parents understood. The photos aren't just for you. They're for your kids too.

How to get dad to enjoy a family photo session

I can't tell you how often I get dads arriving for a session with a frown on their face, totally stressed about what's about to happen.

No one really loves having their photo taken, but dads in particular seem to dread it the most. The good news is there are some easy things you can do to make the whole experience something he actually enjoys. Maybe even enough that next time you suggest updating the family portraits, he's happy to go.

1. Don't fuss too much over outfits

As mums, we tend to overanalyse what everyone is going to wear. But for dads, being told what to put on is one of the worst parts of the whole thing.

My advice is to pick a colour. It can be grey, blue, black, white. Whatever suits your family best. Then find tops that roughly coordinate around that choice. The bottoms don't matter as much. Jeans work well, or a simple skirt for you, but don't overthink it.

Most importantly, pick something dad is going to feel comfortable in. There is nothing worse than seeing a dad arrive in a button-up shirt and tie when I can tell he's the kind of guy who normally walks around in shorts and thongs. Pick something that reflects him.

This goes for the kids too. So many mums want to dress their kids up in that outfit they don't actually like, and then the kids look miserable the whole session.

2. Reassure him it won't take long

I often get people really focused on how long the session is going to go for. My advice is don't pick your photographer based on the number of hours they offer. Pick them based on the style of their photography.

My sessions never go over an hour. I find with young kids they've had enough after 30 to 40 minutes, and the dads have definitely had enough by then too.

You don't need hours to get great photos. You just need a photographer who can connect with your kids and capture real moments with them.

Check with your photographer beforehand how long the session will take and give dad a rough idea so he knows what to expect. It's always easier for a guy to have a timeframe rather than getting there and finding out he's going to be there for hours.

3. Relax and let your kids have fun

Once you're at the session, relax and let your kids be themselves. The real smiles that come from kids bouncing around and having fun are the ones that make the best photos. Dads love watching the kids enjoy themselves and having a joke with them.

When dad looks back at the photos and sees real smiles from real moments with his kids, he'll treasure those memories. And next time you ask him to come in for a session, he won't hesitate.

4. Talk to him about what you're thinking of buying

So often mums are the decision makers at home, but I really think it's important to involve dad in the process.

Have a look around your home and think about where you'd like to put something. Then have a chat with him about the kind of size he likes. If you like the idea of an album, look at the different options together and make sure there's something that suits you both.

Sometimes I get families arriving to their ordering session and mum hasn't even shown dad the pricing. There is nothing more awkward than that moment when he has no idea of the budget you're expecting to spend. Have an honest conversation beforehand. Talk about the kinds of things you love and what you'd like to buy from the session. It makes the whole process less stressful for everyone.

It also really helps me as your photographer to know what you're aiming for, so I can focus on getting exactly what's going to suit your home.

5. Book a time when you're not racing to get there

Life with kids is busy. But my advice is to pick a time for your session where there isn't going to be a lot of stress around getting there.

If you have little kids, see if dad can take the morning off work. It's so much easier to come in during the week when he's fresh and hasn't been working all week. You could make a day of it. Do the session in the morning and then head out for a nice lunch together.

If you have teenagers, a Saturday is going to be the best option, but try to work it around sporting commitments. So often I have families race from a sporting match, throw the kids in the shower and then race to get to me. Everyone arrives stressed out.

If your Saturdays are always full of sport, look for a time in the school holidays. Sports are off, there's more time, and maybe dad can take a morning or a day off work and spend time with the kids as well.

The 6 Most Important Times to Book a Family Photo Session

The 6 Most Important Times to Book a Family Photo Session

Life moves fast. Between the school runs, the activities and the endless pile of laundry, it can feel impossible to find time for professional family photos. But children change quickly, and one day you will look back and wish you had captured them at every stage along the way.

After 23 years of photographing families in my studio in Gordon on Sydney's North Shore, I can tell you the moments parents wish they had documented the most. These are the six key stages where a family portrait session makes the biggest difference.

When They Are a Newborn

The newborn phase is intense. You are running on almost no sleep, still figuring everything out and barely getting through each day. But those early weeks are also when your baby is at their tiniest, and they will never look quite like that again. I always recommend booking a newborn session within the first few weeks. You will be glad you did, because that blur of sleepless nights fades fast and having photos from that time brings it all back.

Before They Start School

Starting school changes everything. The child who once looked only to you for everything starts forming their own opinions, making their own friends and wanting to do things independently. It is a big shift in your family's rhythm, and having photos from just before that transition is something parents treasure. That wide-eyed, still-little version of your child deserves to be captured before the school years begin.

When They Hit the Tween Years

If you thought starting school was a big change, the tween and early teen years will surprise you. Your child starts growing into a completely different person, both physically and in personality. It happens so gradually that you barely notice until one day they look totally different from the child in your last family photos. This is a stage worth documenting, because it is a version of your child that does not last long.

When They Start High School

High school marks the beginning of the end of childhood. Your teenager is forming their own identity, becoming more independent and starting to pull away. That is completely normal, but it makes this stage even more important to capture. These are the last years before adulthood, and the way your child looks and carries themselves right now is worth holding onto.

During Their Final Year of School

Whether your child is heading to university, starting a trade or heading straight into work, their final year of school is a milestone for the whole family. It is often the last time your original family unit is all together under one roof before partners, new homes and eventually grandchildren come into the picture. A family session during this year captures that chapter before it closes.

Where Is Your Family Right Now?

It does not matter what stage your family is at. Whether your baby is brand new or your youngest is about to finish school, the time you are in right now is worth capturing. I photograph families at every stage, from newborns through to teenagers, and every session is relaxed, natural and designed to capture your family as you actually are.

If you have been meaning to book a family session but life keeps getting in the way, that is exactly why you should do it now. The stage you are in today will not last for ever.

I would love to photograph your family.

Kate x

Why get family photos?

Why you should get family photos done (and stop making excuses)

My mum always said she would get family photos done, but there were always the same excuses:

• I need to lose 10 kilos first

• We just don't have the time as life is so crazy busy

• We'll get them done when you kids don't have gaps in your teeth, or when your brother's braces come off

• When I can talk your father into it, as you know how much he hates having his photo taken

• We'll need to save some money, as things are a little tight at the moment

But unfortunately, all those things got in the way and it just never happened.

In 2011 my dad had a heart attack and suddenly he was gone forever. Now it was too late.

I would give anything to go back and take an hour out of our busy schedules to capture those photos with him.

I would love just one photo that captures the amazing friendship my dad and I had. The incredible granddad he was to my kids. How much my mum and dad still loved each other after 49 years of marriage.

Those memories are in my mind, but I would give anything to have that captured in a photo that I could look at every day.

My Dad and I

The purpose behind über photography

This is the purpose behind the über photography brand, to make sure every child has a photo with their parents to treasure as time goes on.

I understand it's hard to find the time to take that important photo of your family. I photograph families in a relaxed, natural way that tells the true story of your family, unlike those awkwardly posed family photos with false smiles.

I photograph everyone from newborns to teenagers to extended families, so no matter what stage your family is at, I can capture that time in your lives for you.

Imagine having beautiful family photos you will proudly hang on your wall, that capture real moments with your kids that you can share and treasure forever.

My own family photos

When I lost my dad I made a decision that I never wanted my kids to not have photos with me, so I've hired a photographer every year since.

I hate having my photo taken, and I used to make every excuse:

I'll lose some weight first. My kids have never once mentioned my weight in photos.

Running a business and having 3 kids doesn't leave much spare time. But I just block it on the calendar now and make it happen.

We've had kids with braces and missing teeth. But I think that is part of my family's story and they are actually some of my favourite photos.

As a photographer, I don't enjoy being on the other side of the camera. But I know in my heart that it's more important to capture those memories than to worry about an hour of feeling uncomfortable.

Like all parents, sometimes the bills all seem to come in spurts and money can be tight. But when you really understand how important it is, you always seem to find the money when you need it.

This is my family's journey.

How I make updating your photos as easy as possible:

1. My online booking system makes it easy to find a time to suit your family. I'll send you my online calendar which shows all my availability for the next 6 months, so you can sit down with your family and find a time that suits everyone. I know if you're a busy family there are sports and activities to work around, so I make it easy to find a time.

2. My beautifully designed studio means that no matter what the weather is, your session can go ahead. I have ducted air conditioning so that on a hot day everyone stays cool during your session. No one wants to be sweating away during their session. In winter and for newborn sessions, I can pump up the heating so the studio is cosy, warm and comfortable.

3. My information guide makes picking your outfits for your session easy. I understand every mum's first thought is "what on earth are we going to wear?" So I have a custom guide that makes it simple and easy to choose outfits for the whole family.

4. My simple pricing structure makes it easy to understand the costs. I'll give you every cost upfront. I believe in total transparency with pricing. I understand that every family is in a different place with their budget, so I have a range of options to suit every budget. I take the time to sit down with you and work out the option that suits your family best.

5. My in-person ordering session where I take the time to find the right size photos to suit your home. At the end of your session I'll make a time for you to come back into the studio to view and order your photos. I'll show you your photos on a large screen and help you pick your favourites.

6. My easy payment plan options so that if the budget is a bit tight, you can still order exactly what you'd like but have a way to pay it off easily over a period of time to suit you.

7. My in-house framing service. Once you've decided on your favourite images, I can help you choose which frames work best for your home and your photos. I arrange custom framing for you, so all you need to do is take your gorgeous framed print home and get it hung on the wall. I can even recommend someone to do that for you, if your husband isn't too handy with that.