Why I wish I had more photos with my dad

Why I wish I had more photos with my dad

When a house burns down or is destroyed by some other sort of disaster, what do people most regret losing? Barring people and pets, the things that people tend to miss the most are the family photos and other precious keepsakes.

All of the furniture, clothes and electronics can be replaced, but those school photos of the kids or old pictures of grandma and grandpa are irreplaceable. Many people overlook the importance of family photos until it is too late.

My dad was my best friend

Growing up, my dad was my best friend. Whenever I had a problem or was upset about something, I knew that he would be there to help me talk it out. If it was something that couldn't be talked through, he was the shoulder I could cry on. He celebrated my wins with pride, and he helped pick me up again when I failed.

When he died from a heart attack in 2011, it was sudden. He wasn't sick, and him dying came with no warning whatsoever. I lost my best friend in an instant, and all that I had left were the memories and the random photos that were taken over the years.

One of my biggest regrets was not taking more pictures with my dad as I got older. Sure there are always plenty of pictures from the growing up years, but as we all get older, our family photos tend to switch to our new little created families. Most people start taking family photos with their spouses and their own kids once they reach adulthood.

Family photos are important

While it is definitely important to take family photos with your own kids, don't forget your parents too. Life changes quickly. Your parents won't always be around, and you will definitely appreciate having these reminders when they are gone. I wish that I had more pictures of me and my dad.

Tangible memories

Think about what you would miss if you lost all of your possessions in a fire as I mentioned at the beginning of this article. All those adorable photos of your child's first birthday? The pictures of your great aunt? These tangible memories are some of our most treasured keepsakes.

I wish I had more photos of me and my dad, but it is too late for that. Don't make the same mistake I did. Get in the photos with your kids now, while you can.

How I changed this for my family

When I lost my dad I made a decision that my children would never go through the same feelings of missing out. Like most women, I don't like having photos of myself taken. I know I should lose a few more kilos, my hair has a tendency to go frizzy on the dates I want it to be straight. I'm never sure what clothes suit me best.

But I realised that my kids will never look at photos of me and think any of those thoughts. They will be glad of the memories that I capture for them. So every time I get our family photos done, one of my must-have shots is me individually with my kids.

Life changed in a heartbeat

Growing up I had always been close to my Dad and shared a special bond with him. He loved fishing, and from a young age I loved going out on his punt  and he would teach me all his fishing tricks. I could never sleep on a car journey, so when we were driving on family holidays we would chat all the way, while everyone else slept around us. He ran an orchid nursery and I loved being able to work with him on the weekends & school holidays.

When I got married and moved away from home, we developed an even stronger bond; He was the first person I would call when I had a problem, needed some advice or a shoulder to cry on. He was an amazing Grandpa to my 3 kids. My parents retired to a property in Bowral, and he loved teaching the kids about his cattle, riding horses, feeding the chooks and gardening. The perfect weekend getaway for city kids.

On August 8th, 2011 I received a phone call that shook me to the core, my Dad was being rushed to the hospital.

5 minutes later we received another call to say that he had passed away from a massive heart attack….he was only 68… I believed my Dad would be around forever, that he as a doting granddad would watch my kids grow up… and in a heartbeat that was all taken away from me. 

My brother, sister and I took on the responsibility of arranging his funeral, as my mum was in total shock. I offered to put together a slideshow of family photos for his service. I cried as I was sifting through all of those memories, There were Santa photos taken religiously every year, the summer holidays at our favourite place with photos of us all on the jetty proudly holding the fish we had caught, watersking and swimming in the lake, and our birthday parties….

The only photo of my Dad and I was the photo below, taken on my wedding day… 

I will forever wish that could have been different...

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the über photography story

We wanted to reach out and tell you a bit more about the über photography story 

I am Kate, mum of 3 kids, Felix, Max and Millie and wife to Chris for 25 years.

über photography began in 2004, when Chris and I decided to start our photography business photographing weddings.

Chris had loved photography since we first met, and I having grown up in a family business, I liked the idea of running the business from home, while looking after our kids. We had both had corporate careers that we loved, but we realized it was time for a change. Our boys were 5 and 3 and I was pregnant with Millie. We both wanted a different lifestyle so that we could spend more time together as a family, and so über photography was born.

The name über came from Chris's German background (we had it well before uber cars existed lol). We wanted a business name that was simple and easy to remember, and it just so happened to mean the best of the best, and seemed like the perfect name...

We started out photographing some friends weddings, then before we knew it the business took off. For 5 years we photographed 50 weddings a year. We were fortunate to get hired to photograph in Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Noosa, Fiji and Bali; and we loved being able to capture the stories of our couples. We felt privileged to be chosen to capture the story of our couples special day.

I had originally trained as a primary teacher, so when our brides started contacting us for family portraits, as they started having babies, I naturally offered to do this. I loved being able to capture the next stage of their lives. And I felt like I had discovered what my purpose was, to tell the story of families as they grow and change and to create a legacy to pass down through the generations.

Around 2009 , when all our kids had started school, I began to realize that things were changing. Photographing weddings meant spending at least one whole day every weekend away from them, and I was missing out on seeing them play sport, and spending the time together as a family on the weekend. So I made a decision to stop photographing weddings and to focus on what I knew in my heart made me happiest... capturing families.

Then on August 8th, 2011 my world was changed forever...

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Mums Need to be in Photos Too!

As a mum, you are almost always super busy holding down the fort, right? It seems there are always lunches to be packed, clothes to be washed, outings to plan. The vast majority of the things that you do for your family each and every day goes undocumented. Heck, sometimes it even goes completely unnoticed!

Unfortunately, because mums are generally the ones doing all the “things”, they are also the ones taking the majority of the pictures. Having a ton of photographs of your kids is great! You will love looking at them and reminiscing, but since mum is almost always taking the pictures, it means she isn’t in very many of them. Oftentimes, mum is actively avoiding being caught in any of those photos due to various insecurities.

You need to fix that, mum. You’ve got to switch to being on the other side of the camera sometimes, and here is why.

Your Children Deserve the Memories

It may be hard to think about, but someday, you won’t be here anymore. And when that day comes, all your kiddos will have left is the photos of you. They are going to want to look back at those good times and see your smiling face. The way they remember it.

But if you don’t put yourself in front of the lens once in a while, they will be left with very few glimpses of the person you once were. These moments that you are all enjoying together, all these milestones, should be documented with you in the mix, not hiding out behind the camera.

You Want to Teach Your Daughter to Love Herself

Of course, you want to teach all of your children to love themselves, but in our society, it is especially important to teach your daughter that you love yourself. Society is going to be rough on your girl, mum. It is going to constantly tell her to look thinner, younger, and more beautiful. She needs to see your confidence, and she needs to see you loving yourself even if you don’t fit into society’s ideas of what is beautiful. In fact, she needs to see you loving yourself ESPECIALLY if you don’t fit into what society deems beautiful.

Every time you cringe at the sight of a camera pointed in your direction or run to hide from the flash, you are showing your daughter that you don’t consider yourself worthy of being in the photo. You are showing your children that you don’t think of yourself as beautiful. Is that really the lesson you want to be teaching them?

Give your children the memories that they deserve and show them just how beautiful each and every one of you can be. Scheduling a family photo shoot with a professional family photographer is a great way to love your photos. The photographer will know exactly how to flatter all of you and make everyone look their absolute best. You will love the memories that you are creating, and your kids will love looking back on them when they are all grown up with kids of their own.