How to Create "Me Time" When You're a Busy Mum

If you are anything like me, you have probably forgotten what it feels like to do something just for yourself. Between school runs, work, cooking, cleaning and making sure everyone else is happy, your own needs end up at the very bottom of the list. And at some point, you stop noticing they are even there.

I get it. I have three kids, and there were years where I could not tell you the last time I sat down with a book or went for a walk on my own. Everything revolved around everyone else. But here is what I have learned: you cannot pour from an empty cup, and taking time for yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.

Start with 30 Minutes a Day

That is it. Thirty minutes. Read a book. Go for a walk. Meet a friend for coffee. Have a nap. Yes, I said it. A nap. Whatever you want to do with those 30 minutes is entirely up to you.

This might mean the laundry does not get folded straight away. The groceries might wait an extra hour. But does it affect anyone? Does it hurt anyone? Not at all. If your baby is safe, fed and loved, you are doing your job.

This does mean working as a team with your partner. And for the record, this is not just about mums. Dads need a break too. Working together on this can genuinely change the dynamic at home.

Meal Prep to Buy Yourself Time

Dinner is one of the biggest time drains. You collect the kids, get home, cook, feed everyone, do bath time, story time, bedtime, then clean the kitchen. By the time you sit down, it is your bedtime too.

Meal prep changes this. Pick a day, maybe Sunday, and cook a few meals for the week. Get the kids involved, or do it with your partner or a friend. Pop the meals in the freezer and you have just bought yourself time during the week. Time to spend with the kids without rushing, time for yourself, or time to just sit on the couch with your family and do absolutely nothing.

Get the Kids Involved in the Housework

The laundry is never going to go away, so you might as well make it work for you. Depending on how old your kids are, turn it into a game. Little ones can match sock colours and line them up on the couch. It is colour practice for toddlers and a bit of bonding time for you.

Toy clean-up works the same way. Create a chart or a whiteboard. If your child picks up all their toys and puts them back in the right spots, they get a mark. Five days in a row and they earn something special on Saturday. A matchbox car, a trip to their favourite park, their favourite dinner, or movie night with popcorn. Positive reinforcement helps them build good habits and gives you a bit of breathing room in your routine.

You Matter Too

There will always be a way to create more time in your day if you look for it. And there is no need to feel guilty about taking it. You are human. You matter. And you are doing a great job.

Kate x

Postnatal Depression and Anxiety: One Mum's Story

Why is this something we never talk about? The number of women that go through it, and you only hear about it after you reluctantly say something to a friend, or even a stranger. And often after the worst of it has passed and you are coming out the other side.

I remember finding out I was pregnant with my second, and if I am completely honest, I felt so much guilt because I was not happy to be pregnant. I wondered if I had made a mistake, and it felt awful inside that I might not actually want my baby.

I then started to get really sick. I was three months pregnant and was skin and bone as they investigated what was wrong with me. In the end, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. My feelings totally flipped around. I realised how much I wanted my baby. I was terrified about whether he would be okay. I was told to take medications that can cause birth defects, but was informed by my doctors that if I did not get better and look after myself, it would be worse for my unborn child.

In the end, I gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy. I was loving every moment. I had forgotten the newborn touch and smell. I was taking everything in and able to enjoy it the second time around, as I was not filled with the fear and unknown of a first-time mum. But as the months went by, I found myself getting lost in dark thoughts. I would sit in my room feeding and just crying, and not sure why. I never spoke to anyone about how I felt and was confused as to why I felt like I did.

I found myself going to the feeding clinics at the community centre, even though I had no issues feeding. I would find myself crying when the community nurse told me I was doing a great job. I guess this raised some alarm bells with her, so she asked me to come in for an appointment where they get you to answer a questionnaire. I do not think I was completely honest in it, but even still, I was recording levels of depression.

One night, confused and feeling alone and unable to sleep, I took a whole sleeve of anti-anxiety medication. I did not have the intention of self-harm but just wanted to sleep. However, when I look back, I did also know that what I was doing was not good.

I then decided that to get better, I had to talk. I told my psychologist, who I had started seeing towards the end of my pregnancy, and I had never talked to her about my feelings. I had previously only spoken about the children and dealing with trivial daily things. I had the community nurse ring my husband and GP, telling them what was going on, so I could no longer hide it. And had I not started to open up, the healing process may never have started.

It is so important to know that you are not alone. You are never alone. Even if you do not want to seek help from those you are close to, seek it from other places such as helplines and medical practitioners.

Sarah, mum to two boys, Harrison and Hugo

If you think this could be you, please reach out for support.

Lifeline (24 hours, 7 days) 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au

PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) 1300 726 306 Monday to Friday 9am – 7.30pm, Saturday 9am – 4pm (AEST/AEDT) www.panda.org.au

Healthdirect Mental Health Helplines www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-helplines